(From July 2007)

I will miss LD.

He would show up routinely at the Eudora Welty Library in downtown Jackson
Mississippi on Wednesday nights between 8pm and 8:30pm. How he got there I
haven't a clue, but I sense he would have walked a good distance just to be
with us. How far would you travel to be with people you considered were
your friends? If that question is not dramatic enough then imagine you
have no family and living on the street, now, how far would you travel?

In the beginning L.D. was on the other side of the "service table". He was
one of the many homeless folks we ministered to on Wednesday nights. L.D.
specifically sought out the friendship of Ray Robertson. I'll never forget
one night talking with L.D. when I noticed his eyes were tearing up. I
asked him what was wrong. Wrong question. It was more about what was
right, and if you lived the day to day existence of folks like L.D. you
would cry more about what is right as well. He told me, overwhelmed with
emotion, that Ray was his friend. I couldn't help being choked up a little
myself. He was looking for a friend and Ray was his friend. Ray would
listen to all his stories of "glory" at Mississippi State and not just
listen,but literally ask questions about some ofthe happenings. L.D. White had a bear trap of a memory of the many games and happenings, and furthermore, could place himself right in the middle of the situation. L.D. was there,
and in a sense of the word, he was and fervently believed he was. I never
heard Ray or anyone else for that matter call him out for being less than
truthful. We accepted him and he graciously accepted us (which may have
been the larger miracle).

Slowly L.D. moved from the "getting" side of the service table to the
"giving" side of the table. This will be the indelible image emblazoned on
my mind when I think of L.D. and tell my kids and their kids a portion of
his story. Even at his level of need for things, he seemed to get more out
of the giving, and there in my mind I see L.D. handing out sandwich bags,
socks, water, or whatever. You know, when you serve others you tend to
forget about your own needs. Perhaps this was an escape from the very real
world of need for L.D. How he must have looked forward to Wednesday
nights. We would all do well to have that same passion for service, but
I don't know if we could unless of course we assumed the nothingness of his
reality.

Last Wednesday night was our last time together and that brings sadness to
my heart. It began like so many before with L.D. meeting us at the
library. He was full of good cheer. I went to shake his hand and he drew
back saying he had worked landscaping all day and was sweaty. I shook his
hand anyway. He launched into talking about the upcoming MSU football
season and the prospects for a good year. Lee Miller and Ray joined him in
that conversation while I, an ACC transplant from North Carolina, listened
in. If I recall L.D. didn't like the prospects for a good year. Everything felt so much like every other night. You don't think any meeting with any person, unless they are on their death bed, is your last meeting on this side of eternity. This was. God had been preparing Ray and I for it. For some reason on several occasions over the last few weeks we had talked about the possibility of losing one of our homeless friends to death. We just never thought it would be L.D.

He lived only 38 years according to the newspaper. We were shocked thinking he was at the very least 10 years older. His "street years" probably were.
The last time I saw L.D. he was handing someone something at Farrish Street
park. It could have been a sandwich, water or any of the other things we give out. I'm not sure what the item was and it doesn't matter. He was giving and that is what I will remember most about L.D. We could have been joined before ministry by many others and occasionally some would meet us at the library before we depart.  However, only L.D. was there to serve others on regular basis - you could count on him. It will be different this coming Wednesday night.

I'm sure I will look over my shoulder by habit when I arrive at the library
looking for L.D. I hope to honor his memory by recommitting myself to being a better servant as was his example to me. I never thought I could be taught by God through a homeless man living on the street getting a monthly check for not being in his right mind. I think back to that last image of L.D. handing someone something when he had nothing himself and I wonder if I could do the same. Would I get my food and bitterly eat it by myself sulking over how life had gone sour for me? I fear that sounds more like my attitude sometimes. I never sensed that attitude from Mr. L.D. White, no not once.

Thanks to L.D. for showing me a better example and thanks be to God who
through His Grace knows no one he will not use who is surrender to Him.

-Malcolm